When My Faith Doesn't Move Mountains

Many of you know I was diagnosed with breast cancer 18 months ago.   I underwent a double mastectomy and year of chemotherapy. Recently, I developed an abscess in my spine, which put me in the hospital for a week.  I am grateful the doctors located the infection and started treatment when they did.  If left untreated, in 3-4 days I would have been paralyzed.  This is a sobering reality.  But what is more painful to me than the physical pain I have endured this year, are comments made by people who claim to know Jesus yet accuse me of insincere faith.  They believe my “lack of faith” has interfered with God’s healing.  This is troubling and it grieves my heart. 

This week I was preparing a lesson form the Gospel of John, chapter 5.  A man who had been handicapped for 38 years was hanging out at a pool in Jerusalem that claimed to have healing powers.  The locals believed angels stirred up the water and if the ill person jumped in the pool at just the right time, they would be healed.  Jesus happened upon this pool as the handicapped man lay there waiting for someone to help him into the waters.  Instead, Jesus healed the man on the spot, telling him to “Pick up your mat and walk”.  Soon after, some Jewish leaders asked the man, who healed you?  What comes next is important.  Verse 13 says, “The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there”. 

No one else in the pool was healed. Only this nameless man.  It wasn’t the man’s faith that healed him.  He had no idea who Jesus was.  It was not the waters that healed him.  He never even entered the water.  It was the will of God that healed the man, so that Jesus could show His authority as the Son of God. 

Why are Christians today so preoccupied with physical or “miraculous” healing?  Do I desire my cancer to go into remission? Absolutely.  That is why I underwent 12 grueling months of chemotherapy.  I am bothered by people who confront me and in the name of Jesus, claim to speak healing into my life.  Faith is not some self-generated spiritual force that leads to wellness as some would believe.  Nor is prayer a vehicle by which we make demands from God.  I think one of the best quotes on the definition of faith came from the late theologian Charles Spurgeon, “Faith is believing that Christ is what he is said to be, and that he will do what he has promised to do, and then to expect this of him.”

Returning to chapter 5 in the gospel of John (verses 19-47), we hear from Christ himself who explains His identity and mission.  Christ said in verse 24, “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life”.  Christ came to forgive sin, to offer eternal life and warn of final judgement.  Nowhere in verse 24 does Christ say he will heal all our disease and promise us a trouble-free life.  Then, Jesus proceeds to tell the Jewish leaders that he is a testimony “weightier that that of John (the Baptist).  Christ does not need man to prove His deity! So why then do we get so caught up in searching for miraculous signs and healings?  I think it is because we as Christians put way too much emphasis on the strength of our faith than the object of our faith. 

We want to see prayers answered, to validate our faith. We want to see healing, to validate our faith.  We want to see an engaging worship service, to validate our faith.  We want to see our political candidate win, to validate our faith.  The Apostle Paul tells us our faith is a gift from God, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph. 2:8–9). 

Will you have doubts in your walk with Jesus? Sometimes.  Will trials rock your faith? My testimony is proof. (James 1: 2-3).  But when these doubts or trials come, don’t look for a miracle or an answered prayer to validate your faith.  Look to Jesus.  Take your eyes off yourself.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: (John 14:6). Only Christ has the power to offer salvation.  Jesus promises to work when our faith is as small as a mustard seed (Matt. 17:20), for it isn’t the size of our faith that finally matters, but he who is the object.

Physical healing doesn’t always occur, and spiritual growth does not come instantly.  When trials come we should pray to God for our physical and spiritual needs. The answers to our prayers may come quickly, they may come in stages or they may not be answered at all. One thing that Jesus has taught me through my cancer journey is that true discipleship is costly and involves suffering.  When we read through the Bible, we will see Jesus in all its passages.  Our faith grows as we see the power, goodness and love of God displayed in Christ, whether that results in miraculous healing in our lives or simply the grace to endure pain.  Regardless, God’s grace should be sufficient. (2 Cor 12:9).  This may be my journey, but it is for His glory!